Family update

November 4, 2006 - Okay, so it's been a while since I posted. I wanted to take some time to get the situation settled in my mind before I posted about it for all to see.

Last week, DHR decided that they needed to intervene to 'protect' Alyssa and yesterday they removed Charli from our custody and placed her in a foster home, after removing Alyssa last week.

Alyssa fell at afterschool care on her first day of school, Oct. 10. That afternoon when I picked her up, the workers told me she'd fallen after she told me. They said that they didn't call because she seemed okay and was back playing a few minutes after the fall.

She was complaining that her leg, back, and arm hurt. She also told me that she thought that she had started her period after she fell because there was a little blood in the potty when she went to the bathroom. Then she said that it hurt to go to the bathroom.

After we picked-up the baby and got to my house, I called my mom and asked her what we should do - Matt wasn't home from work yet, so I had the girls by myself. Mom told me what to ask and to call Matt to see how far he was from coming home. I proceeded to make dinner, talk more with Alyssa while she did her homework, and feed the baby. All while fielding calls from my mom and my brother.

Well, I asked Alyssa to go and use the bathroom, but not to flush the potty. (Okay, kinda graphic and gross, but I wanted you to know how we decided to take her to the doctor.) There were a few drops of blood on the seat. I recommended and Matt and Mom agreed that it would be best to take her down to Children's ER to have her checked-out. I was thinking that she might've bruised her kidney or something. Per the custody order, Matt called and left a message for Jessie that he was taking her down to Children's.

Alyssa's description of the fall was that she was playing on the "triangle thing" and wasn't being careful. Her foot slipped and she fell.

At Children's, they ran several tests to see if she had blood in her urine. They did some scans, x-rays, and physical exams. When Jessie arrived, they asked, and all of us agreed that they do a pelvic exam to see if there were any other injuries.

During the pelvic, the doctors saw a small tear and some bruising. Two different doctors and a nurse asked the child if anyone had touched her privates. She emphatically said "No." and that no one was allowed to touch her there.

They determined that this was most likely a straddle injury and recommended a pedicatric gynocologist for her to see on Wednesday to make sure there weren't any other injuries. Matt brought her home and we put her to bed around 4AM.

The next day, Matt made an appointment with the doctor recommended by Children's. He called Jessie (or she called before he could call her) and he told her the time and place of the appointment so that she could be there. The doctor said at the time of his exam that it was most likely a straddle injury but that he would need the report from the aftercare program and to do a more thourough exam with Alyssa under anesthesia to rule out sexual abuse. Of course, mentioning that inflamed Jessie and she demanded that DHR be called. DHR met them at the doctor's office, interviewed both the doctor and Alyssa, where she said again that no one had touched her. Alyssa had already told the doctor and his nurse that no one had touched her. So now, we have an 8-year-old child who's told two doctors and a nurse at Children's, another doctor and a nurse, and a social worker that no one touched her.

However, after Alyssa talked with her mom at Children's on Tuesday night, while no one else was in the room, her story of how the fall happened changed. She wasn't playing on the "monkey bars" anymore because she's not allowed to play on them. She first told the ped. gyno the same story she told me, Matt, mom, and the doctors at Children's. Then she changed her story.

The social worker allowed her to go home with Matt. Jessie followed Matt home, with Alyssa in the car with her, where she, Jessie, asked my mom to talk with her and Matt about what could've happened. Jessie insisted at the time that she knew no one in our family could've hurt Alyssa.

On Friday, Oct. 13, the doctor performed an extensive exam while Alyssa was under anesthesia. He said that the bruising and tear were consistent with a 'straddle injury' but that he couldn't rule out sexual abuse. Once again, Alyssa went home with Matt.

On Monday, Oct. 16, the social worker came out to my house and interviewed Alyssa, Matt, me, and my mom. (Happy Birthday, Amy!) She asked Alyssa repeatedly "Did anyone touch you? Did your Daddy touch you?" and Alyssa insisted that no one had touched her. The social worker told my mom that she would get back in-touch with us if she needed anything else. We didn't hear from her all of that week.

On Tuesday, Oct. 24, I get a call from Matt saying that DHR will be at my house at 7PM to sign a "safetly plan" so that Alyssa is protected. Alyssa is to have no alone time with ANY male, including Matt. He wasn't even allowed to take her down the block to the bus stop. I was to be the primary caretaker for both girls. She informed us that on Thursday, Oct. 26 Alyssa would have to go through an "Advocacy Center" interview for possible sexual abuse.

It turns out that the aftercare report indicated that Alyssa fell from a sitting position.

The doctor couldn't figure out how she would've gotten a straddle injury if she fell from a sitting position. Mom took off of work to take her to the Advocacy Center because Matt wasn't alllowed to transport Alyssa. Once there, my mom was excluded from everything. Now, remember, my mom is a 17-year veteran of DHR and is currently an investigator for child protective services. Jessie was allowed to witness the interview and consult with the social worker, DA, and the sherriff's deputy. After several hours of consultation, DHR decided to take custody.

DHR asked Matt, as the primary custodial parent, if he was willing to send Alyssa home with her mom. He said "NO." as we're all afraid that in her desparation to get custody of the children back, she will coach Alyssa to say that Matt did something to her - when we all know that he didn't because of the timeline (which I'll explain later). DHR, in their infinate wisdom, decided to send her with Jessie anyway.

On Friday, Oct. 27 there was what's called a 72-hour hearing and the judge decided to put Alyssa in protective custody...which means foster care. Now, in all of this time, no mention has been made of the baby.

Yesterday, Nov. 2, when I arrived at daycare to pick-up Charli, the director met me at the door and told me that "She's not here." I felt like I'd been gut-punched. She said that DHR had arrived at 5:15 with a Sheriff's deputy and a court order and taken her into custody. I've never been more devestated in my life.

If they had decided last week, when they picked-up Alyssa, that they needed to take Charli, I would've been hurt. But my mom has worked for DHR for 17 years - I know policy! When you decided to remove a child, you remove all the children in the home.

My heart is breaking in a million pieces for these girls. And all we did was to take a hurt child to the doctor.

Now for the timeline and you can judge for yourself.

Matt obtained custody of the girls on Oct. 6. My mom and dad went with him to pick them up. I was there and Mom and Dad spent the night that Friday night.

On Saturday, Oct 7, the whole Robertson crew had planned to come to my house to celebrate my birthday. Matt, Dad, and Jud put together a wooden swing-set that I bought while Mom, Pam, and I took all four kids to a birthday party in Trussville and then to Target to buy Alyssa some school clothes. My uncle Mark came over as well. We grilled-out hamburger and hotdogs. Everyone was pretty well worn out and went to bed as soon as the house cleared.

On Sunday, Oct 8, Matt and I got the girls ready and headed to Gadsden to church. Alyssa's Sunday School teacher is a female and was my best friend in high school. After church, we went back to Mom and Dad's where Charli and I napped. Aylssa and Mom played on the computer and Alyssa asked to spend the night. She wanted to go back to church that night and see her new friends.

On Monday, Oct 9. Mom brought Alyssa back to Birmingham. The three of them went to Alyssa's new school and were given a tour. They met her new teacher! After getting home, they called me and I headed back to the house. I passed Mom on the road and when I got home Alyssa was playing outside and Matt was feeding the baby. We all called it an early night because Alyssa was starting school the next day.

The next morning, I got up and got the baby ready while Alyssa was getting ready for school. Matt left with both girls around 7:15. He called a few minutes after 8 to let me know he'd just dropped off both girls.

Please, keep us in your prayers as we try and keep our heads on straight from this attack straight from the devil! I'm holding onto Psalm 35 right now as several people have presented me with this chapter.